Who Moved My Cheese?

Who moved my cheese?
Transition is a hard thing sometimes. I am full of new changes. Some I am a little more comfortable then others. Changes in my life:
1. Released from my calling. Yes that was a good move and a necessary one. I felt strongly about being released. The aftermath is a little hard being in the same ward at least for a time.
2. Ward changes-in the current YSA ward the bishopric has changed. I have no great desire for them to know me or me to know them because I am leaving soon. But what ward do I go to? The itty bitty branch or the ginormous ward? The itty bitty family branch is with my neighbors. Someone thought it was a great idea to put a few complexes together for a branch, putting all of the high turnover in one place. Seems like a great idea for the stake, but for people like me who are a little more stable it could be hard. Yikes! How hard is it to be in a ward with just newly weds and retirees. I just don't know. Bonus is that this ward starts at 9. The other ward is the massive mid singles ward for the southern part of salt lake county. 6 relief societies and 3 elders quorums. Bonus with this ward is that I would be in similar age and circumstance with these ward members, it's hard because of how many people there are. Truth is I want to meet people my age, for friendships or possible dating and marriage opportunities.
3. Friend transitions--Because I am changing wards, so too will some of my friends change. That is just how it works. You change things you do and some friends stay with you while other leave. Also some friends have gotten married. Yes they are still friends, but things are different and should be. Its just hard for me because I live alone. I need interaction with people and lets face it, facebook isn't going to cut it.
4. Family transitions--So I have said this before,my brothers are both serious about girls. One is for sure getting married in May and the other it looks like will sometime in the near future. I am happy to add people to my family, but its hard when they enter your family. They are both shy which means they are hard to get to know. Do they really want to be in our family? I don't know. I know they love my brothers, but I sometimes feel like they don't know what to do with me: the unmarried single one. I just don't seem to fit into categories that some people have.

President Burgess from the singles stake said that in times if transition that is when Satan comes after you. It's true... Because of these transitions I am feeling less motivation to go to church, to read scriptures, etc. I really don't want to go to church. I see myself as a faithful person, but I don't feel like I fit anywhere. I went to the family branch today and it was ok. People were nice enough, but the puzzle piece that is me, doesn't fit into this picture. Or does it? Would it fit in the mid singles ward? I don't know?
My life the way I was trained to go to get my cheese has been moved. Perhaps it means I will get a greater reward for going through my maze of life to the new cheese.
I have Guide posts in my life and need to use them.
What steps next: follow promptings, follow the teachings I know from the gospel. It will be ok. Those blessings promised to me will be rewarded in Gods time and in His own way. It will be worth it.

Upper Crust...

Well perhaps I am a little bit. Even though maybe I don't make enough to be really part of the upper middle class or upper class...I kinda act like I am sometimes--or so it says on this survey. I think teachers are especially like this. We maybe make money like we are in the middle to lower middle class--and yes probably no matter what we are in the middle class, but because we are more educated on a whole we don't act like others who make similar amounts of money would.

How Thick Is Your Bubble? Guest Score » 5 out of 20 (25% ) Result On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8. In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more. Quiz School Take this quiz & get your score

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Crazy Old Lady...

So I had this realization today....I am going to be a crazy old lady. Yes its true, I sing instructions to my students using familiar tunes like "She'll be coming round the mountain..." and give instructions like :Its time to line up, yes it is...Its time to line up yes it is...Its time to line up, its time to line up, its time to line up, yes it is. So the best part about this is that I do this with just making it up on the fly. So if I do this now I know I am going to be much more crazy when I am older. Why wouldn't I be? Anyone out there do this too, or is it just me? If you do, do you have any other songs that you use that I can steal?

My blog posts recently have been short and sweet, or bitter as the case may have been. So there you go!

Super Grateful...

So today at the Valentine's party, I lost my phone...but good news I found it. I couldn't find it for a few hours, yes hours. I prayed and yes my prayer was answered. I am also grateful for the people from JHAT. That really was one of the best experiences of my life. Not only did I learn a lot, but I made some amazing friends. In this, not so pleasant time in my life, they listen to me and really care. That is what I want and need. I am also grateful for a bishop who listens to me and is also looking out for my needs.

So side note on Valentines day. It was a truly awful day...and not in the way you think. The kids at school today were out of control! They had a hard time staying on task, and kinda wouldn't listen. So there you go. Tomorrow will be better. My kids at school are trying, and I do think that my classes really are helping me become a better teacher. So tomorrow is a new day and I can make it a great one!

*****

So for anyone who really reads this blog, I will try to make it more upbeat next time I write. I have just had a hard time the last little while, I am sorry! Forgive me please. I know I have a support system, I know people love me. I know that things will be good, its just maybe not the good that I want. Its really ok to have my life. I have a job that matters, and a responsibility with that. I have skills that are useful and helpful to others. Life is good... :)

One is the Lonliest Number

Ok so I said to myself I wouldn't do anymore depressing blog posts, but this is my outlet, whether anyone reads it or not. So its true...both of my brothers look like they are getting married this summer. Yes I am excited for them, but really this sucks for me, royally. I know they have to do what is best for them, but I feel like they don't even know how hard this is for me being single, 30, LDS, haven't been on a date in a long time, and been on a good date even longer. I have no prospects. This is all I ever wanted in my life. I wanted to have the blessings of marriage, but it is not looking too likely. I know 30 is young or so they say...but I haven't had any decent prospects in years. Guys who are my age who are still single are basically full of themselves, or are losers. The other option is that they are divorced but that is another can of worms.
So fun summer eh?
My other favorite thing is that every time I know someone who gets married basically forgets me after they are married. Its like they don't know what to do with me. I am the outlier of their perfect little lives of marriedhood. What do you do with your random single friend. You can't go to dinner with them...that's what couples do...and then they have kids and then what do you do with your random single friend...really what do you do?
I have lost so many friends because of marriage...and it looks like that may be the case with my brothers too. Ya I know we still see each other at family things, but really how often do they really happen?
So there you go. I am discouraged, upset.

FREAK OUT

Ok so I am freaking out about some things...some have been previously mentioned. Ok lets be honest, all have been mentioned or at least alluded to.
Just a list because I don't think I have it in me to elaborate. I do however need an outlet--ie the blog.
1-my class I love them, but dang they are a hard class
2-my classes-ya did I mention I was going back to school for a masters/esl endorsement. Taking about 12 credits.
3-my calling-its good for me, but I am having a hard time keeping up with it
4-my brother's serious relationships-seriously both of them and no rain in sight for me
5-OK the issue plaguing many a single girl--will I find someone? will I be able to have kids?


My sister-in-law said something at Christmas that she knew I would get married, but if not and I still wanted kids I could adopt and the family would help me. Ya that is an upper and a downer of a conversation. And no I don't want to be a single parent in any form. I would rather just be single.

Basically it boils down to this: I have too many things to do and things are falling apart. I am only semi successful at all of them. An quite honestly semi successful really means just keeping my head above water. HELP!