I have a weakness, a major weakness. When I feel hurt, or frustrated, I snap at people. These are people I care about. I say unkind things that are partially true, but are unkind. It isn't all the way true, but has at least a minimal amount of truth. I did this last night. I was unkind to someone. The same person I have been confused about for months. He maybe didn't deserve it, but he also maybe wasn't that great to me either. He had been ignoring me for a while. I asked him a question and it ended up he wants me 100% out of his life. Yes that is ok. Yes that is probably a good thing, but the way it came out upset me, especially since I had a horrible day. I snapped at him and said something very unkind. He told me that when conversations like this happen, the real me comes out. That kind of implies that I am rude, nasty etc...Yes I have my moments, but at my heart, I don't feel like I am rude, nasty etc. I have moments of great unkindness. I am frustrated. I am frustrated at myself. I am frustrated at the situation. I am frustrated. I am less confused because there is a clear line. Fine. That is FINE. He is a good person. He isn't perfect and he was hurtful with or without realizing it. I am a good person. I am hurtful sometimes and I do know it.
I need to work on some of my weaknesses. Well its time to start!
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