Thursday, December 15, 2016

Unkindness, Less Confusion, Frustration etc...

I have a weakness, a major weakness.  When I feel hurt, or frustrated, I snap at people.  These are people I care about.  I say unkind things that are partially true, but are unkind.  It isn't all the way true, but has at least a minimal amount of truth.  I did this last night.  I was unkind to someone.  The same person I have been confused about for months.  He maybe didn't deserve it, but he also maybe wasn't that great to me either.  He had been ignoring me for a while.  I asked him a question and it ended up he wants me 100% out of his life.  Yes that is ok.  Yes that is probably a good thing, but the way it came out upset me, especially since I had a horrible day.  I snapped at him and said something very unkind.  He told me that when conversations like this happen, the real me comes out.  That kind of implies that I am rude, nasty etc...Yes I have my moments, but at my heart, I don't feel like I am rude, nasty etc.  I have moments of great unkindness.  I am frustrated.  I am frustrated at myself.  I am frustrated at the situation.  I am frustrated.  I am less confused because there is a clear line.  Fine.  That is FINE. He is a good person.  He isn't perfect and he was hurtful with or without realizing it.  I am a good person.   I am hurtful sometimes and I do know it.

I need to work on some of my weaknesses.  Well its time to start!

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