Catfish....bleh...I am so tired of catfish. It seems like on almost any dating sight I have ever been on there are catfish. They are the ones that claim to not be in the country because their job, usually in the military, has taken them elsewhere. They often are "deployed" and just looking for someone to have a relationship with. They want to message you off the dating sight quickly on something like kik or google chat. Sometimes they ask you for money and more often than not their story is they are a widower/or they were cheated on who would really love to have a relationship again. I bet most have taken a picture that is not their own and claim to be that person. I have caught a few of those...some who later show me pics of their real self and one I saw that was someone I knew in high school. Perhaps he is a cheater or perhaps someone stole his pic...I still don't know. Regardless I hate it!!
Turtles are probably one of the worst. They seem to like you but move at such a slow pace it is hard to keep interest in them. They are hesitant to move quickly because of their past, or they truly just like being alone. I will admit I am not fantastic at initiating phone calls. Maybe that is what they want? I am good at initiating text and sometimes even too good because I sometimes over text because all I want to do is to get to know someone. I tend to jump in with both feet to see if something works. If it doesn't work quickly that is fine and we both can move on, but I hate this drag things on over the course of weeks/months for just 2-3 dates. If you like me, lets see if this works by talking/going on dates. If you don't like me than just tell me. Don't ghost me, don't be rude to me to push me away, just say, "I am not feeling a connection with you," or "I don't think we are a great fit." It doesn't have to be phrased exactly like that, but give me something. Don't drag things on...don't only talk to me or text me every few days. Turtles, I like you...I just hate your pace. In this case, slow and steady does not win the race...it makes me loose interest fast.
Spiders are horrible! They are much like turtles that only communicate with you or go on dates with you sporadically and slowly, but they are worse, much worse! They tend to do it because they are stringing you along--making you wait in their web. They do this because they are "too busy," They need time alone, they are dating multiple women and trying to make up their mind about them, etc. Because they give me some initial good feed back I tend to do something I am really great at, over text. I know this is a fault of mine. I know also that If I got a reasonable amount of responses, even ones that say "I am busy right now, but I will chat with you later." I need to get better and just going with the flow or just not responding to such men. I need to have enough self respect not to text them. I text too often that they think and they do treat me poorly because I will always be there. I am always there because I care about people. I know they may be going through whatever crap they are going through so I make excuses for their poor behavior. I need to just stop it because all it does is make me think that I can never find anyone, or that I deserve to be treated this way, but I don't! No one does.
Finally to the bears. Bears are the men who you have talked to or maybe even dated that contact you out of the blue. They hibernate and come back. I had one this week that contacted me. We went on a few dates about a year ago, when he was in Utah. He lives out of state. We talked and texted for several months after that. I like him and always did, but things got hard because of distance. He asked if I was dating anyone and I said I wasn't really, but talking to several and been on a few dates with some. I said I wasn't sure how much any of these men really liked me. In my head I was thinking it was because they are turtles and spiders. He responded in the most kind way possible. He told me that he didn't know what the men in Utah were thinking. He told me I was wonderful and often thought about me. I like hearing those things. Why can't men in Utah do that?
I have seen some men fit in more than one category. They can be a bear and a spider, or a bear and a turtle or any other combination. I want to find a dog. Dogs are your best friend. They are loyal. They want to be with you. They are excited to spend time with you. They miss you when you are gone. They give you cuddles and kisses.
Where is that dog for me?
