Upper Crust...

Well perhaps I am a little bit. Even though maybe I don't make enough to be really part of the upper middle class or upper class...I kinda act like I am sometimes--or so it says on this survey. I think teachers are especially like this. We maybe make money like we are in the middle to lower middle class--and yes probably no matter what we are in the middle class, but because we are more educated on a whole we don't act like others who make similar amounts of money would.

How Thick Is Your Bubble? Guest Score » 5 out of 20 (25% ) Result On a scale from 0 to 20 points, where 20 signifies full engagement with mainstream American culture and 0 signifies deep cultural isolation within the new upper class bubble, you scored between 5 and 8. In other words, you can see through your bubble, but you need to get out more. Quiz School Take this quiz & get your score

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Crazy Old Lady...

So I had this realization today....I am going to be a crazy old lady. Yes its true, I sing instructions to my students using familiar tunes like "She'll be coming round the mountain..." and give instructions like :Its time to line up, yes it is...Its time to line up yes it is...Its time to line up, its time to line up, its time to line up, yes it is. So the best part about this is that I do this with just making it up on the fly. So if I do this now I know I am going to be much more crazy when I am older. Why wouldn't I be? Anyone out there do this too, or is it just me? If you do, do you have any other songs that you use that I can steal?

My blog posts recently have been short and sweet, or bitter as the case may have been. So there you go!

Super Grateful...

So today at the Valentine's party, I lost my phone...but good news I found it. I couldn't find it for a few hours, yes hours. I prayed and yes my prayer was answered. I am also grateful for the people from JHAT. That really was one of the best experiences of my life. Not only did I learn a lot, but I made some amazing friends. In this, not so pleasant time in my life, they listen to me and really care. That is what I want and need. I am also grateful for a bishop who listens to me and is also looking out for my needs.

So side note on Valentines day. It was a truly awful day...and not in the way you think. The kids at school today were out of control! They had a hard time staying on task, and kinda wouldn't listen. So there you go. Tomorrow will be better. My kids at school are trying, and I do think that my classes really are helping me become a better teacher. So tomorrow is a new day and I can make it a great one!

*****

So for anyone who really reads this blog, I will try to make it more upbeat next time I write. I have just had a hard time the last little while, I am sorry! Forgive me please. I know I have a support system, I know people love me. I know that things will be good, its just maybe not the good that I want. Its really ok to have my life. I have a job that matters, and a responsibility with that. I have skills that are useful and helpful to others. Life is good... :)

One is the Lonliest Number

Ok so I said to myself I wouldn't do anymore depressing blog posts, but this is my outlet, whether anyone reads it or not. So its true...both of my brothers look like they are getting married this summer. Yes I am excited for them, but really this sucks for me, royally. I know they have to do what is best for them, but I feel like they don't even know how hard this is for me being single, 30, LDS, haven't been on a date in a long time, and been on a good date even longer. I have no prospects. This is all I ever wanted in my life. I wanted to have the blessings of marriage, but it is not looking too likely. I know 30 is young or so they say...but I haven't had any decent prospects in years. Guys who are my age who are still single are basically full of themselves, or are losers. The other option is that they are divorced but that is another can of worms.
So fun summer eh?
My other favorite thing is that every time I know someone who gets married basically forgets me after they are married. Its like they don't know what to do with me. I am the outlier of their perfect little lives of marriedhood. What do you do with your random single friend. You can't go to dinner with them...that's what couples do...and then they have kids and then what do you do with your random single friend...really what do you do?
I have lost so many friends because of marriage...and it looks like that may be the case with my brothers too. Ya I know we still see each other at family things, but really how often do they really happen?
So there you go. I am discouraged, upset.

FREAK OUT

Ok so I am freaking out about some things...some have been previously mentioned. Ok lets be honest, all have been mentioned or at least alluded to.
Just a list because I don't think I have it in me to elaborate. I do however need an outlet--ie the blog.
1-my class I love them, but dang they are a hard class
2-my classes-ya did I mention I was going back to school for a masters/esl endorsement. Taking about 12 credits.
3-my calling-its good for me, but I am having a hard time keeping up with it
4-my brother's serious relationships-seriously both of them and no rain in sight for me
5-OK the issue plaguing many a single girl--will I find someone? will I be able to have kids?


My sister-in-law said something at Christmas that she knew I would get married, but if not and I still wanted kids I could adopt and the family would help me. Ya that is an upper and a downer of a conversation. And no I don't want to be a single parent in any form. I would rather just be single.

Basically it boils down to this: I have too many things to do and things are falling apart. I am only semi successful at all of them. An quite honestly semi successful really means just keeping my head above water. HELP!

Letter to me

Dear Me,
I know you are overwhelmed and and doing your best. I know you feel like things are slipping through the cracks and you are just trying to survive. You can do this! You have some skills that can help you with this. Life will be ok, even if things keep piling on. You are ok, and life will great. Something better will come along. All that baggage you carry, is ok to let go. Good luck with accomplishing all of your tasks. Its ok to let things go, but what? Figure out what works for you.
Love,
Me